Just Smile

MIRANDA..........Alack, what trouble
was I then to you!

PROSPERO........O, a cherubin
Thou wast that did preserve me. Thou didst smile.
Infused with a fortitude from heaven,
When I have decked the sea with drops full salt,
Under my burden groaned, which raised in me
An undergoing stomach to bear up
Against what should ensue.
-- The Tempest

I found some interesting statistics on smiles once.  The source claimed that the average woman smiles 62 times a day and the average man smiles 8 times a day.  I think that both of these numbers are just kind of sad, especially considering the amount of the day that both men and women spend awake.  I mean, let us just say that a person gets the normal 8 hours of sleep a night.  That leaves 16 hours of a day where that same person is engaging in conscious activities...16 hours seems like a long time to smile only 8 (or even 62) times.

 There are so many insanely hilarious things that happen in life.  I have almost 23 years worth of anecdotal proof that when life happens so does smiling.  I've had something silly or embarrassing happening to me almost every day, either that or I've attempted to say something hilarious.  For instance, this past weekend I spend with my friend Brenda, and there was one night where, in an exhausted stupor, we ran through the entire globe of accents.  If she didn't have one then I did.  I think one of the only accents neither of us could do was any African accent--sorry Africa >_<

One thing a lot of people have noticed about me is that I tend to compensate with humor.  If I feel uncomfortable, bored, or upset about something, I tend to make whatever is making me feel however I am feeling into a joke.  One recent example would be dealing with my parent's divorce.  The Sunday after I learned that it was happening I broke the news to my roomate Christina in this way: "So...funny story..."

It kind of reminds me of that part in Mel Brooks' Robin Hood spoof movie where Prince John tells the Sheriff of Rottingham "Huh! Wait a minute. I have an idea. Maybe if you tell me the bad news in a good way, it won't sound so bad."  I seem to live by this code.  I would rather smile and laugh then give into emotion.  To me, emotionality defies rationality--this principle only holds for myself for some reason; I have no problem with others being emotional.  Usually when other people are crying or being emotional, my next instinct reaction after comforting them is attempting to make them laugh.  I think it's a self-preservation thing.

Smiles are my concrete wall.  They don't necessarily have to be my smiles because I tend to fall under the category of pensive and melancholic more than joyful and triumphant.  Abby, one of my good friends, is never short of smiles.  She could make a room of stuffy business executives roll on the floor.  It's the kind of presence she has, the kind that lights up a room, that buffers my wall.  Thankfully, I have a lot of those kinds of friends who, whether consciously or subconsciously, smile consistently and drag smiles from others.

These people remind me of a character in an anime called Baccano named Elmer Albatross.  He claims to have absolutely no idea what happiness is or if it can ever be achieved, but he strives to make all the people he knows happy by going around and smiling himself while constantly begging to see his comrades smiles.    Yes, I often compensate with humor and smiles, but that's more from being being a pragmatist than an optimist.  Smiles may be my wall, but I often don't smile when I'm alone.  I don't smile for myself.  I'm not as optimistic as Elmer, but sometimes it just seems healthier to think that way.

While watching an episode from the first season of Glee on Netflix with my mom tonight, I heard a song I forgot that Glee did a cover of.  It was "Smile," originally written by Charlie Chapman.  Listening to this song inspired this whole tirade, so here's the YouTube video for the Glee version. Life is full of joyful and hilarious moments, but it's still life, and sometimes it hurts just a bit too much.  I vote that we stage a peaceful protest and just smile.

There's NO Tomorrow!

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
creeps in this petty pace from day to day." - Macbeth

The day has finally come.  It's May 21, 2011, and according to some people, today would be the perfect day for the rapture to come.  Since it's only 7:50am, I think I'll give them a break for the time being because, who knows, the rapture might happen by time zones.  Too bad I don't know whether or not the people in Europe are still there.  It's almost 11am on the east coast, and my friends that live in Pennsylvania seem to be on Earth still.

If you couldn't assume from my slightly satiric tone, I honestly don't believe that the rapture will happen today.  I'm not even necessarily sure that when the second coming of Christ happens, it will be like the modern American church's notion of "rapture" that happens.  Honestly though, I haven't spent years attempting to find an answer; I'm too busy finding answers to questions that seem more pertinent then when life will suddenly end--like what anime to watch with Brenda today, whether I should put on socks, and how the hell I'm gonna not go mad living at home again.

Most of my theological/philosophical Jenn-thought (personal thought that comes from yours truly) rejects the notion of rapture or even some divine end where agency is stripped of us.  I don't have answers, nor do I completely deny what it says in the book of Revelation--though I think I may be able to understand it more while high on acid that at my mental prime.  I think it's the same Jenn-thought that makes me reject the whole May 21st end of the world thing.

But what if it was true?  Obviously, someone has to believe in this "end" that's going to happen today.  Obviously, someone has spent a lot of time, energy, and money in order to perpetuate a belief that the world will end today.  I don't necessarily know if the man who predicted this "end" really believes it or if he is being persuaded by ye olde capitalism.  I'm pretty sure, however, that regardless of whether or not my immediate reaction is to laugh and think that this is completely bogus and that the people who believe it are crazy or unintelligent, they are still people.

I don't know what their lives are like; I don't know if these people are actually very intelligent and all of this "end" talk makes sense to them, especially considering the world state.  Hasn't even the modern American church kind of recognized that "the end is coming"...and hasn't that end been imminent since even before Israel won it's independence.   I've heard "the rapture will happen soon" from so many different churches since  I began going to church.  I still here it.  So...even if I don't cease to exist today because of a May 21st rapture...I recognize that at least those who believe in the May 21st end had the balls to put a date on it.

No one knows what tomorrow will hold.  I don't think that means that tomorrow is scripted or that some divinity has planned out my life, but I do think it means that no one knows what choices are to be made, what choices other people have to make, and what all of that will mean for tomorrow.  For all I know, this may be my last day on earth, this may be your last day on earth, this may be the end of the world.  Either way, I'm not going to be complacent.  I'm not going to say that because the rapture is imminent or will happen on May 21, 2011 I'm going to just wait because it doesn't matter, or completely devote my existence to waiting/studying for/about some end.  That's a waste of whatever time I have left.

Even if I knew without any doubt that today was the end, or that tomorrow is, or the next day, or ten years from now, I would still want to live out today without resigning myself to an "end" by saying something like "I can't wait for Christ to take us away" or "May 21st is judgment day!"  In my mind, both are equally and even painfully dull.  I don't want to wait for anything.  I want to get out. Go. Do. Be. Live.

Quotes, Quotes, Quotes

So, I've been watching this new anime called Sgt. Frog that's about these alien frogs who try to take over the Pekapon race, aka. Earthlings.  It's a comedy meant to provide social commentary about everything.  It isn't politically correct.  It's hilarious.  In lieu of posting anything really intelligent or philosophical, I decided to input-vomit all over everyone.  Besides, finals week is coming up and laughing is good for de-stressing.

"I will not fail you, milady.  My mustache is too huge for failure."

"I know how addictive power can be.  My mustache attests to that"











Momoka, a Pecaponian:  She is completely in love with a teenage boy named Fuyuki.  Most of her quotes have to do with him.

"Matching Pins, he really does want to grow old together"

[While in a dreamlike trance]
Momoka: Here's my heart.  I put it in a sack so it won't leak.
Dream-Fuyuki: Yes! I love your heart, and I shall keep it in the fridge.










Fuyuki, a Pecaponian: cute little boy obsessed with the Paranormal.
Natsumi, a Pecaponian: Fuyuki's older sister who likes sports and beating up on alien frogs.

Kululu: Valkyrie one and Valkyrie two have penetrated the Sergent's orifice.
Fuyuki: You know, he could have said it another way.
Natsumi: Yea, but it sounds funnier this way.




Keroro: So is it normal to almost die while on spring break?
Fuyuki: Yeah, totally!  It happens on CSI all the time!












Keroro, an alien frog: Main character of the series.  His rank is a sergent and he heads up the team for the Pekopan invasion.  He's kind of an idiot, but endearing in many ways.

"A good sergeant has to have two things: blood lust and the ability to cook gourmet meals for his troops"

[After being told that he may be caught by the Men In Black and turned into frog leg soup] "I'm too awesome to be soup!"

[When locked inside a toy-store after it closed] "In the darkened toy store of the enemy, my extreme strength was no match for the burglary proof gate.  I looked everywhere for a way out.  On top of things, below things, around things, inside of things.  I was completely out of prepositions, so I decided to do the only sensible thing and wait for death"

[While watching an anime where a man saves his girlfriend] "Strange how the power of love for his girlfriend turns him into a flaming rainbow."

"My God, this is serious.  Get me a fruit roll-up!  I need to think!"











This to the right is Tamama.  He is an alien frog that serves under Sergent Keroro.  He's adorable and has a split personality, ranging from cute adorable cannon fodder to demon possessed.  Unfortunately for him, the frog team uses him to do all the grunt work...and as cannon fodder.

[They're at the beach for spring break and Keroro runs into the water without understanding that it's salt water; he dries out]
Tamama: Did you read my report?
Keroro: You know that I won't read them if you don't put funny quotes in them"
Tamama: Sorry Sir.  Next time I'll try to make salt water more fun.

RANDOM CHARACTERS!!!

In this one episode there are these helocopter guys that yell this:
"You have ten seconds to vacate the premises before we start shooting for fun!"

The Narrator is hilarious.  He breaks the fourth wall and questions everything that goes on.  It's very meta-fictionesque.
"The rain and humidifiers turned the room into a climate only inhabitable by mosquitos and floridians"
"The great lord of terror is a chick.  Does that make the Frenchy Astrologer [Nostradamus] a feminist or a misogynist.  Really, it's a thin line"


















Giroro, alien frog:  This frog is my favorite.  He has a serious case of blood-lust, bringing out his guns and bombs for even the slightest task.  He has no sympathy for wimps or idiots (especially Keroro, who is both).  This frog has a secret crush on Natsumi because she is a warrior maiden.  He continuously fantasizes about her stripping down a machine gun, putting it back together, and then destroying another alien race.  He also loves cooking curry, synchronized swimming, and taking care of puppys, kittens, and flowers.


[After a space alien came down to suck all the moisture out of Keroro's body] "All niororo [the space alien] does is drain our bodily fluids.  It's very anticlimactic...and gross"

"I'd be laughing my head off right now if I were capable of joy"

"When you're pushed, killing is as easy as breathing"

"You should know by now that I only laugh at pain, and it's about it get real funny"


And all of this only from the first 12 episodes.  Intense.  Anyways, I hope I brightened someone's day like this show brightened mine!

Thinking Is Overrated

"...................................What is a man,
If his chief good and market of his time
Be but to sleep and feed? A beast, no more.
Sure, he that made us with such large discourse,
Looking before and after, gave us not
That capability and godlike reason
To fust in us unused. Now, whether it be
Bestial oblivion, or some craven scruple
Of thinking too precisely on the event—
A thought which, quarter'd, hath but one part wisdom
And ever three parts coward—I do not know
Why yet I live to say 'This thing's to do,'
Sith I have cause, and will, and strength, and means
To do't. Examples gross as earth exhort me." -Hamlet

"'But I'll tell you something else, Charlie."  I said and backed away from the mirror.  'I'm not your friend.  I'm your enemy.  I'm not going to give up my intelligence without a struggle.  I cant go back down into the cave.'" - Flowers For Algernon

I have a serious dislike for thinking.  Often my brain will decide to shut down and I'll do and say crazy (often vulgar, disrespectful, and profane) things that would normally never come out of my mouth on purpose; then I lose all memory of those few unfiltered brain-dead moments of bliss.  I think it's how my mind copes with always thinking "to precisely on the event."  Mind mind is constantly moving and is constantly in search of some type of stimulation.  I hate this.  Mostly I hate this because it means that there is no "off" button and my mind keeps going and going and going and going until it overloads, there is a an internal core meltdown, and I suffer the shut down mentioned above.

A famous philosopher once said that "I think; therefore, I am."  One one level I appreciate the deep philosophical ideas that this brings up.  My thoughts about the world and myself alter my perception of the world and myself.  My existence on this earth hinges on my ability to rationalize my experiences and ideologies, which is very true to some extent.  If I wasn't capable of thought, I might walk off a cliff thinking that I could fly because I had seen birds do the same thing.  Okay, that may be a bit extreme, but as an analogy it works.  The things I do and the ways in which I act make up how I live my life and, by extension, my being.

There's a popular joke in nerd circles concerning the philosopher who wrote the quote in the paragraph above:  Descartes walks into a bar and sits down on one of the bar-stools.  The bartender comes over, polishing a glass with a white cloth and asks Descartes, "Would you like a glass of Absinthe, sir?"  Descartes shakes his head and says, "I think not," and before he got a chance to ask for just a simple glass of wine he disappeared.

Yes, hardy har har har.  This joke makes fun of the "I think;therefore, I am" principle, and this leads into the other level where I hate this quote and can't stand it.  I just DON'T want to think sometimes.  If my existence hinges on my ability to rationalize, then I feel like sometimes it might be nice to not be able to think at all.  I think part of the reason that I wish I was back in Kindergarten, other than being able to have naptime, is that all I was ever really worried about was learning the alphabet, understanding how to count, and coloring inside the lines.  As an adult, I don't have this luxury, not many of us do.

Anytime something happens I have to rationalize it.  I'm a pragmatist.  I don't see the glass as half empty as half full.  If someone is filling up the glass and then asks me "Is this half empty or half full?," I will automatically say that it is half full because the action that was being enacted upon the glass was "filling."  If someone emptied out the glass and asked the same question, I would say that it was half empty because of the same reason.  If I came across a glass on the table, I would say it is half empty because some of the water may have evaporated; therefore, the primary action would still be "to empty."

I have to say that tall of this is one of the things I seriously dislike about myself.  I dislike having to think through everything.  I can't be spontaneous;  I have to input whatever I can and then spew it out to whomever I can;  I can't sleep through the night without waking up or having a night terror unless I have a Tylenol P.M. or, more recently, Xanex; I can't be emotional and selfish until I sort through every detail of a shitty situation with a fine-toothed comb.  Can I get an "Amen?!"

Yet, through all of this, I know that I am a thinking being.  It makes my existential heart happy to know that I can exist and breath in and out, but that my often overactive mind gives me my being, my life.  It's times like this, moments where I make an interesting connection between my favorite anime voice actors or with the possible uses of a chainsaw, where I thank God that I am who I am and, despite how hard thinking is sometimes and how much I wish I could shut up my mind and be selfish and emotional and spontaneous, that I am able to think complex thoughts, to thrive mentally and talk about art, history, literature, movies, and music with intelligence.  For that ability, the ability to observe the world and "think to precisely on the event,"  I can stand occasionally shutting down and make unknown witty and somewhat horrid remarks.