I Pack a Chainsaw

"The violent delights have violent ends" - Romeo and Juliet

The other evening one of my lovely roommates was looking online for a toy chainsaw to give to me.  One of my favorite weapons is a chainsaw (a chain scythe is also a favorite of mine), and much of the times I've been aggravated or frustrated I have expressed to my roommates and friends that I desired a chainsaw.  I should qualify this desire by saying that I would never actually use it on something that is living, but just the sheer ability to break something into thousands of pieces by moving a machine with rapidly spinning blades connected to a chain just sounds fun.

Anger is really something that American culture doesn't do very well.  We get angry, we treat people like shit, and then we move along on our grumble-filled way.  Many people become violent, punching everything from pillows, to walls, to their families.  This isn't the best way to vent, obviously, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't feel good.

Facebook used to have an application called Flair (I have no idea if they still do) and you used to be able to use points to purchase a virtual button that had a saying on it.  One of the flair that I collected, one that was also on the list of top purchased, said "Why is it illegal to stab stupid people?"   I thought that this was hilarious because everyone has come up with someone who is so idiotic that only a quick jab with a box-cutter might cure them of their stupidity.  While this is a sad statement to admit, I've been there.  I'm sure you've been there too.

 Violent games, television shows and movies are somewhat to blame with our cultures disassociation with violence, but it is probably also a culprit for not being allowed to express anger in a violent manner.  I can't speak for everyone else, but sometimes it seems like the only way to cope with certain situations that frustrate me to the boiling point is to break something. 

When I was seven or eight years old I remember my cousin jumping off the top bunk of my bed and onto my Barbie house on purpose.  Both of us ran crying to my parents, my cousin blamed me, and because she was three years younger than me, I was blamed for destroying my own toy.  I got so mad that I ran back upstairs into my room, yanked a glass framed Aladdin poster from the wall, and slammed it on the ground, shattering the glass.  Of course I got in trouble for both, but I didn't care because that one simple violent act dissolved my anger.

Another time, probably sometime in 6th grade, a few girls were seriously bullying one of my friends after school.  I walked right up to the three of them and punched the leader of the bullying in the stomach.  Once she fell to the ground in tears and gasping for air, her friends took off.  Yes, I got detention, but seeing my friend being hurt angered me to the point where words wouldn't have done anything.

Sometimes being younger has its advantages in that respect.  If a high school boy slugs a guy for cutting in front of him there is no doubt that he will get in trouble, but a lot of the physicality of the fight will be chalked up to him being a post-pubescent testosterone-laden juvenile.  Interestingly enough, a similar situation happening at the parking lot of a bar would be regarded the same, except for possible alcohol involvement.

I'm not advocating physical violence against human beings--by no means!--but I feel like our culture doesn't provide sufficient enough outlets for any show of physical anger.  In Japan there a establishments where people can rent a room, a specific weapon good for smashing things, and a various amount of dishware and other breakable objects.  This just sounds so much fun and such a stress reliever to me.  Anyone else up for a trip to Japan?  Seriously.

After doing a quick search for crime rate statistics I found that per capita, the united states has 80.0645 crimes per 1,000 people while Japan  only has 19.9886 crimes per 1,000 people.  While I'm sure that there are other cultural factors that weigh int these statistics, perhaps anger management is one of them.  Accepting the violent tendencies of humanity and giving an outlet for them rather than suppressing anger to the point that one has nothing but other humans to take their anger out on once they reach the end of their fuse.

Thankfully, I have a very long fuse.  My anger moves on a five level continuum: 1) Frustrated, 2) Mad, 3) Apathetic, 4) Pissed, and 5) Angry.  I've probably only been at the fifth stage three or four times in my life, two of those times are accounted above, and this is a good thing.   Recently a plethora of crap has been happening that has situated me freely moving in between levels three and four.  I feel like the songs "I Can't Decide" by the Scissor Sisters, "They're Coming to Take Me Away" by NeuroticFish, and "Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit have been my anthems.  The third song listed contains multiple references to a chainsaw, which I approve of (although there are other things about the song that make me cringe).

I feel like it would be better, for me and for other people, to just be able to break stuff when we feel angered to the point of violence.  Gathering a bunch of foam mattresses  in the middle of a field and being able to hack at them with a chainsaw or other weapon of choice would definitely be more conducive to everyone's overall well-being rather then taking unbridled anger out on something that's alive, right?

P.S.  If anyone finds a plushie chainsaw let me know because that would be so totally amazing.  Couldn't you just imagine how adorable a little fluffy chainsaw would be?  So frickin' cute!