Kix are for Kids...but so is Grammar

"I know it well, I read it in the grammar long ago" - Titus Andronicus

Reading cereal boxes as a kid is the reason so many adults do not know proper grammar!  I finally figured it out!

I bought some Kix yesterday because I ran out of Corn Flakes and needed another cereal.  While at Fresh n' Easy I decided that I didn't want an "adult" cereal and decided for Kix because if any of us watched T.V. as children, we know that "Kix are for kids, and they taste great too!"  This was my first problem with the cereal.  Kix are for Kids could be grammatically correct if the company is talking about the multiple little tiny corn-puffs in the bowl since "kix" is both plural and singular at the same time (we don't have one kix and many kixes).  In this case it's grammatically correct because a plural noun is followed by a plural verb, which "are" is. 

Here comes the problem...
If the company is talking about their product instead, as in the brand name "Kix" with a capital "K," instead of the individual bowl of cereal, then the grammar is wrong.  Brand names are collective nouns, which means that they get singular verbs.  We don't say "Petco are" or "Silly Putty are" because it's ungrammatical.  If the company meant their product, then the slogan should be "Kix is for Kids," which they wouldn't want to do because the two /s/ sounds in a row would be hard for kids to pronounce, making the product less kid friendly, ultimately making it less profitable.  Linguistically it makes sense; grammatically it doesn't.

Yet, that is not the end of the grammar lesson.  On the back of the box in big print it says "Great KIX Taste = Happy Kids."  Because most of us are used to these kinds of slogans, we understand immediately what is trying to be said: "Kix cereal tastes really good, so buying it will make you (or your kids) happy."  However, when said out loud this sentence could be devastating. "Great KIX taste equals happy kids."  By definition Equal when used as a verb means "to be or become equal to."  The latter definition fits alright: "Greak KIX taste becomes happy kids," but it doesn't make sense; we would never say it.  Besides, it sounds like the taste of the cereal somehow becomes a living being and creates a happy child.

The real problem is when we use the first part of the definition: the "to be."  We're used to this verb in mathematical equations.  2+2=4 will become "two plus two equals four" or "two plus two is four."  Let's apply the same  mathematical principle as well as the dictionary definition to our Kix equation: "Greak Kix taste is happy kids."  I hope you see the problem in this.  Unless the company is condoning cannibalism in the very real Sweeney Todd fashion, then the sentence is ungrammatical.  If they meant the actual grammar to be correct and send a message to those eating the cereal that "is happy kids," then I just had myself a breakfast full of child. Bon appitit!